My post today comes as a warning to all those single desiring marriage. Focus! I think somewhere in the scheme of things we’ve allowed our vision to become out of focus. There is absolutely nothing wrong with desiring marriage. There is something wrong when our desire for marriage becomes something else…idol worship! Can I remind you that any thing and or person that takes our vision and focus off of God is just that?
Some of us have become so love sick with the idea of being someone’s wife (husband, for my male following), that we lose sight of God’s plan for us and what He’s given us to do. If we’d be really honest, many of us should be shaking in our boots. We’re not ready. We’re fragmented from previous relationships. We’re not dealing with our issues or seeking deliverance. Marriage will NOT cure you of lust, insecurity, mistrust, lying, cheating/commitment issues, anger and so on. We’re looking for someone to complete us or make us whole. One half, plus one half only equals one in math. In real life one whole person, plus one whole person, plus God equals one. Why is that? Because a three fold cord is not easily broken. Because that’s the formula for a healthy marriage. If you can’t submit to God, how can you be submitted in your marriage? Again, focus.
There’s a quote that reads, “The biggest cowards are those who awaken someone else’s love with no intention of loving them and those who entertain someone else’s pursuit with no intentions of committing to them.” I urge you not to play with people’s emotions. And if you’re not ready for dating that leads to marriage (because honestly for the Christian, what are we doing?) If you’re not ready to die (flesh), you’re not ready for marriage. Marriage is nothing to play with. It is so much more than sex and romantic walks on the beach. There are no do-overs in marriage. No ‘Oops! I think I married the wrong person’. Looks, muscles and hair will fade, but character will last a lifetime. Can you live with this person’s character til death do you part? Ladies if all you have to offer is lipstick and lace, you’re going to be in for a most rude awakening. You better start asking God for balance now. Are you prepared to pray and intercede for the man of God? Are you prepared to perform your wifely duties at the end of a long work day or long day with the kiddos (SAHM)? Are you prepared to manage the home (meals, laundry, finances, and that doesn’t include the children, their homework and after school practices)? Are you mature enough to leave your family and friends out of your marriage?
I know you’re tired of people telling you to wait on the Lord. I know you’re tired of people telling you to get busy in the Kingdom so your king can come. Trust me when I tell you I. Get. It. But as I sat in my bed pecking away on my laptop working, I was interrupted to ‘cherish this time of doing you because it won’t always be like this and you’ll have to share yourself and your time with your husband.’ The more I think I’m ready, the more I realize that I’m not. Why? Because my focus has shifted. I want somethings from Abba. He wants somethings from me. And I’m enjoying the exchange. Focus my friend. Focus.